I called my friend Binny yesterday to check his well-being. I asked him, “how are you, Binny.” He said, “Not bad!” with a very fragile voice. I asked him, “Hey, what happened, Binny? Tell me please”. He started sobbing and said, “I don’t want to live now”. I was taken aback and asked, “Arre, why are you saying? Tell me clearly what’s going on.
And then he said, “my brother Jimmy was looking for a groom for her daughter for many years, and somehow it didn’t work out, and he was too much stressed about it. So I put all my efforts and finally was able to find a groom for her. And then, the marriage function was fixed in April, but due to the sudden surge of COVID19 wave 2, I requested to postpone it, but somehow it didn’t happen. On lots of insistence from my brother Jimmy, I even traveled from Bangalore to Varanasi. My two sisters also joined the marriage, but still, it was limited only to close families. We all took care of social distancing, and everything and function finally ended on a good note. We all went to our homes happily. I returned back to Bangalore.
I said that’s great to hear, so what went wrong there. Binny said, “after two days one, my sister’s husband called me and said “what you did to my wife…she died”. I said,” she is my sister, how can you even say so” but he just hung up.
And if that was not enough, then the very next day, my elder sister’s son called me and said, “what do you want, uncle?”. Do you want to kill my mother as well? I was shocked “what happened,” she is very ill, and it’s only due to you. I tried explaining to him, and he too hung up his phone.
Trust me, Vinit, I love my sisters more than myself. I can’t even think of doing anything bad to them; how can I make them ill or kill them.
I said, “of course, I know you have helped everyone so much”. I have hardly seen anyone helping the way you help everyone.
Cutting me off, he continued, But now, I am feeling so bad that I cannot breathe properly… I don’t want to live anymore. Just because I have a responsibility towards my wife and my children, I am somehow alive. Where did I go wrong, Vinit? I just helped to fix the marriage. I didn’t know this second wave will so so harsh. I even tried postponing marriage, but I can’t be very adamant from the girl’s side. I didn’t push my sisters to come to the wedding; I never thought anything will happen to any of us. But now it happened; it looks like I only killed my little sister, and now the elder one is ill. How can I live this blame on me? I am so hopeless, Vinit. I’m so hopeless.
Isn’t Hope the most energizing word in the English language?
Many in the media will tell you that we are the actual victims of this crisis: we will inherit a terrible job market, a declining economy, a traumatized health system, and will remember the devastation Covid-19 unleashed on us for the rest of our lives. It is leading to all the blame games between relatives, friends, politicians, governments.
And herein lies the paradox of Hope: it is the times when it is the hardest to find that we need it most. Hope is a power that keeps us going in the most challenging times of life. It’s a power that energizes us with excitement and anticipation as we look forward to the future.
John Maxwell says – Hope shines brightest when the hour is darkest. Hope motivates when discouragement comes. Hope energizes when the body is tired. Hope dares to give when no one is sharing.
A lack of Hope and a lack of energy go hand in hand. It is tough to walk through difficult times and cope with life’s challenges without Hope. But the person that’s full of Hope is motivated to welcome life and all the challenges it brings. Regardless of your current condition or circumstance, you can be a person who gives Hope.
These two things will help you get there:
1. Choose Hope over Despair
It’s probably the most challenging time of life. No one is untouched. In my family and friends, many close people passed away. Last week itself, 2 of my immediate family members passed away. Not easy to be hopeful in these times.
But Hope is embedded deep inside the men and women who learn from their losses. These people choose Hope, even in defeat, knowing that it will motivate them to learn and eventually find victory.
But it takes courage to choose Hope because Hope can be disappointed. But having the courage to choose Hope will always be rewarded.
2. Help people Choose Hope. Hope can only become a reality if you can help people change how they think negatively. People give up when they lose Hope. This happens when their thinking is constantly negative, and their expectations of themselves perpetually dive lower.
Norman Cousins says, “People who fear the worst tend to invite it. Heads that are down can’t scan the horizon for new openings. Bursts of energy do not spring from a spirit of defeat. Ultimately, helplessness leads to hopelessness.” In life, we see what we are prepared to see. And what we see is determined by our thinking. The good news is—your thinking can be changed.
The one loss that no one can afford to experience is the loss of Hope. Its power lies in the motivation it provides to learn and grow beyond your current circumstance. No matter how difficult or trying the times, Hope believes there is always a better way for the future.
Hope gives us reason to live. It takes obstacles and transforms them into possibilities. Hope provides us with the strength and the courage we need to make the most of life.
I am so pleased that I could give Binny hope that whatever has happened has nothing to do with him. He did his best in the current situation by helping so many people. He should remain a dealer in Hope for others, as he has been earlier.
Napoleon said: “Leaders are dealers in hope.” During these crisis times, it’s even more pertinent to be dealers in Hope.
In these testing times, let’s be very careful by practicing all COVID norms but let’s avoid any blame games and do our best to choose Hope and help others choose Hope.
Let me conclude with this Mariah Carey’s song –
“So when you feel like Hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you’ll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you!!!”
Digital Strategist | Executive Coach | Keynote Speaker | Budding Author | Seeker